Blended families can be complicated. I would know; as a stepmom myself, there is definitely a nuanced way of navigating relationships, especially with your stepchildren and their biological family. Thankfully, we’ve all made it work for many years with little issue, but that’s because of thoughtful conversations and continual work to make our little blended family get along and stay happy.
One mom shared her journey as a stepmom, what her stepdaughter says about her biological mom when they’re together, and her thoughtful responses in a viral video.
In the video, Ciayra Ray-Mcilwain, captured the bittersweet moments when her stepdaughter expressed how much she misses her mom during various activities and milestones, asking Ray-Mcilwain to send her mom photos or videos.
In one part of the Reel, her stepdaughter proudly announces that she’s lost her first tooth and asks her to send a picture to her mom. Ray-Mcilwain’s response is warm and encouraging: “Okay, say cheese!”
In another scene at a waterpark, her stepdaughter says: “I’m having so much fun at the waterpark, but I miss my mom.” Ray-Mcilwain replies: “I know you do and that’s okay.”
In her caption, she elaborated on her feelings, writing, “One of the hardest most rewarding roles. This girly has taught me strength and courage, I can’t imagine growing up with an absent mom but watching her grow & prosper in the midst of it all blows my mind ❤️ #mom #stepmom #bonusmom #mother #momlife #instamom”
Since gaining traction, the video has caught the eye of many parents who praised the stepmom for her empathy and kindness, putting the kids first in a blended family dynamic.
“not a stepmom, but a mom who stepped in,” one user wrote.
“You’re the kind of woman that is meant to be in children’s lives,” another wrote.
One user shared, “As an involved mom, whose daughter has a step mom like you. I applaud you. You are handling this with such love and care. You are a blessing in her life, just like she is a blessing in yours.”
In an interview with Newsweek, the 28-year-old stepmom said that her relationship with her stepdaughter’s mom has had its ups and downs, but remains cordial when they see each other.
“I used to try to involve her every step of the way, even when it was clear she wasn’t interested, however after years of hitting a wall, I have taken a step back from communicating with her unless requested by our daughter,” Ray-Mcilwain said. Seems like her strategy is working!
