Teachers Reveal The Baby Names That Students Ruined For Them

School’s out for the summer! (Is the Alice Cooper song blaring in your head now?) If you’re currently expecting, you might still have classrooms on the brain as you explore baby name options. After all, you want your kid to fare well once they reach the age of academia. Are there certain names that tend to turn out star students? How about troublemakers? While teachers tell their students to never judge a book by its cover, sometimes it can be really difficult for a teacher to forget the covers of books that made their job an absolute nightmare.

To that end, I asked teachers who work with students of all ages to share examples of baby names that were ruined for them. Keep in mind: This is all in good fun. You could have 100 perfectly behaved Billys for every misbehaving one. Besides, as a wise teacher once told me, “By the end of the year, even the most challenging kiddos leave a handprint on your heart.” So, while some students’ names may haunt teachers for years to come, having compassion for those kids is important. Chances are, if a kid is being an asshole, there’s probably a reason.

If you really have your heart set on one of these baby names, go ahead and use that name! Then, vow to make sure your kid never terrorizes their teachers.

1. Damian

“Damians are absolutely devilish.”

2. Olivia

“I hear this name way too often and that popularity alone ruins it. But I’ve encountered a few rude Olivias that made this name a ‘hell no’ for me.”

3. Ethan

“Oh, Ethans are total class clowns. Troublemakers! One time I walked into my classroom and discovered a shirtless Ethan waving his shirt around like a total buffoon.”

4. Madi/Maddie/Mady/Maddy

“There are endless spelling variations of this name and remembering the spelling for each Maddie was a headache in itself.”

5. Dexter

“Dexters are just out of control. They just run around making huge messes.”

6. Natalie

“She was a Nat-a-liar!”

7. Michael

“My dad’s name is Michael, and when I told him we were having a baby, I let him know not to expect his name because it had been ruined multiple times.”

8. Bryce

“This one Bryce was so fake. He’d act like a perfect little angel — until he didn’t get his way.”

9. Dylan

“One in particular was a royal pain in the ass!”

10. Abby

“Abbys love to get involved in all the drama.”

11. Noah and Landon

“[There are] more Noahs and Landons in detention than any other name.”

12. Gabby

“I have encountered some really sweet Gabbys, but one rotten apple sadly ruined it for the bunch. She was so self-absorbed and disrespectful.”

13. Billy

“Billy stole money from me.”

14. Scarlett

“A pre-k student named Scarlett decided to try to stab me in the hand with a sharp pencil!”

15. Christopher

“Christopher is my grandfather’s name. But, I had two Christophers who were god-awful. Both drug addicts and so mean to their classmates.”

16. Joe

“Joe was awful, just a rude kid. Tried to push every button. I knew what he was doing but I couldn’t let it go. I’ve had kids way worse since, but I was a very young teacher, so it was just something I remember.”

Just remember…

A name doesn’t predict a person’s personality. Sometimes, a kid will come along and change your entire perspective. The teacher above who dealt with a particularly problematic Joe had plenty of other Joes who “were genuinely charming and nice.” One Joe in particular “restored [her] faith in that name.” And, he really did do just that, as this teacher has a son named Joe!

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