Everyone knows how it feels to be left out, it’s part of growing up. But boy does it hit harder when it’s not you experiencing this awful-if-universal pain, but your uniquely wonderful kiddo. That’s why one Redditor, u/katren08, went to the popular r/Parenting page to seek advice for her daughter’s back-to-school anxieties.
“My daughter is starting third grade and she told me the other day she was nervous to start school because she’s the weird kid, she doesn’t have any friends, and she doesn’t know why no one likes her,” she explained. “She said the other kids tell her they don’t want to play with her. It breaks my mama heart and I don’t know what to do.”
“I’ve always told her to be herself and ask the other kids to be her friend,” she continued. “I am socially awkward and have anxiety with new people, as does my husband, so we’re not the best roll models for making friends, lol. I don’t know if there’s anything I can or should do, but any suggestions or advise would be appreciated!!”
The Reddit community rallied around the poster. Many shared that they or their kids had experienced something similar, and offered helpful, supportive insights.
“Hi! Mom with no friends with a lonely little boy with no friends, here! Just wanted to say my heart hurts with you. Are there any hobbies she likes? What about club or after school programs where she would be able to meet others she might click with,” said Redditor u/Lyndsey52020.
“Also double down on doing things with her. We can’t control school situations, but we can make them feel safe, wanted, and secure at home. You, too, can be a best friend :)” she continued.
One common thread of advice: the more involved you get, the better.
“I would recommend finding an extracurricular activity that she’s interested in. Bonus points if it’s not affiliated with school. I was one of the weird kids in school, but I found similarly weird kids at gymnastics, art clubs, camps, etc,” said u/Internal_Armadillo62.
“Find something that she likes to do and she will find friends. I was the weird kid in school, but I was in the band, played several card games, did soccer for several years, read tons of books, through these activities I met lots of friends,” said u/Theme_Training. “At some point she’ll also figure out that everyone is weird, even the ‘cool’ kids.”
Redditors also offered the comforting knowledge that elementary school can be a particularly trying time for kids socially — I’m sure we all remember our own social mishaps and miscalculations from before we were old enough to really get it.
“I think around 2nd/3rd they kinda go from the little kid thing where they just play with peers who are physically present and don’t think about it, to being conscious of having to relate on a deeper level,” shared u/spowocklez. “Suddenly you’re aware of being observed and judged by people around you. And things get more cliquey, esp with girls. So some of this is just that transition and is fairly common. Theres a lot of social shuffling that goes on from 1st grade to 6th.”
Being the “weird kid” is certainly difficult, and no parent wants to see their child struggle socially. While advice on how to get out there and make friends was a highlight of the thread, many Redditors also made sure to point out that being “weird” is just the thing that makes your kid so great!
“I LOVE the weird kids,” said u/GreenDemonClean. “They’re the kids who stand out because they don’t just go with the flow. They’re generally not the followers. She might not be the leader today but later in life she’ll stand out, too, and with your guidance through the next 5 years she can get there confidently embracing her weird.”
And we love the weird kids, too.
