Are you a parent who needs to take breaks from your kids constantly? Touched out? Burnt out? Just so tired of hearing, “Moooooooooooom!” 700 times a day? You’re not alone!
Feeling that need to flee from your little bundles of joy is totally normal, but one mom says that it doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, she has two reasons why we might be feeling this need to take several breaks and what we can do to help ourselves (and our kids)!
“If you’re a parent that constantly needs a break from your kids, there’s probably one of two things that are happening. And if you fix these two things, then you will literally never need a break from your kids,” Amber C. notes in her video.
“First is that American parents are basically running around like chickens with their head cut off, trying to keep their kids busy or entertain their kids or have their kids in some activity at all times. I hear parents say this constantly, like, ‘Gotta keep the kids busy. Gotta keep the kids occupied.’ And they’re trying to turn every moment into like a very teachable moment and like a lesson,” she said.
“And we’re very worried about our kids being the smartest and working on everything. It’s expending so much energy as a parent. I have a friend that does this. Her kids are pretty much geniuses, but they are working on learning and memorizing and reciting. And they’re working on something every waking moment.”
While these kids seem great, Amber points out one major snafu in this plan her friend has to raise hardworking little geniuses — she cannot wait to be away from them.
“…my friend cannot wait to put these kids to bed. She puts them to bed earlier and earlier each night. I don’t know anybody who puts their kids to bed as early as she does. And she constantly needs a break from her kids, where my theory is that if you lessen this, the need, the desperate need for a break goes down because you’re not putting out as much energy.”
Secondly, Amber says that she knows it’s easier to do grocery shopping and other errands sans children because, of course, kids can make things extra stressful. However, Amber says that these tendencies parents have to avoid doing things with our kids is actually a hindrance to them.
“Second thing is that if you’re exhausted because your kids are just acting crazy, that is an opportunity to teach/train your kids how to not act crazy. Any time the kids’ behavior is exhausting you, that means that’s a teachable moment,” she explains.
“You know, I know so many people that don’t want to go to the grocery store with their kids because they’re worried they’ll break the eggs and they’ll run around and they’ll scream and they’ll do all these things. You need to teach them not to do that so that there’s no stress going.”
“If your kids are polite and stand near you and are helpful at the grocery store, that’s not something that you’ll need a break from your kids to do …if you increase the behavioral teaching training opportunities because in the household everybody needs to exist, it’s not just for the kids.”
Amber says that if we “decrease the expenditure of entertaining” and going all-in on kids’ activities, with “every second of the day” being structured, parents will expend less energy and get to a point where you never need a break from your kids.
“Before I made these changes, I was barely surviving motherhood. I was exhausted. I felt like a shell of a person. Once I made these changes and focused on teaching the kids so that we can live in a very nice, peaceful area and did less of these entertaining kids and activities because honestly life is full of lessons … I never need a break from my kids and people will tell me, ‘Oh, you should take a break. You should take a break.’ I’m like, they’re my favorite people to hang out with. I’m happy to go do something else, but I don’t need a break from them.”
While this all makes sense in theory, it’s all easier said than done, right? Several TikTok users took note of Amber’s advice, giving their own take on her opinion.
“Actually, it’s overstimulation and my ADHD 😅” one user wrote.
“I kind of agree but in regards to the training part how am I supposed to train my 20 month old to not scream at my feet when I’m trying to make dinner or do basic cleaning. I know it’s the age but 😭,” another questioned.
“I feel like it’s more that we don’t parent in communities anymore we do it alone,” another noted.
If anyone ever tries this method out with success, please let us know!
