You know your kid is practically perfect in every way, which is why it’s so heartbreaking to realize that they don’t necessarily feel the same way about themselves.
Managing your child’s insecurities is no easy task, particularly if you don’t have a good framework from your own childhood to work off of. Thankfully for those who do not, Elena Nicolaou can help. She posted a video to Instagram Reels explaining how her mother navigated conversations about her looks as a kid.
“I was a very funny looking little girl, and I mean funny looking, and never little,” Nicolaou explained.
“I knew I was funny looking. I knew I didn’t look like the other girls. I was much, much taller. I was much bigger. And you know, you’re not an idiot when you’re a kid,” she said.
Kids are aware, often painfully so, when they don’t fit in for one reason for another. Nicolaou’s mom’s approach to comforting her daughter didn’t negate that feeling, but didn’t feed into it, either.
“She never told me I was funny looking. She never made me lose weight. She never made a big deal out of it,” Nicolaou said of her mom. “Instead, she told me this. She said, ‘You play the cards that you’re dealt.’ And I knew in my hands, being skinny and cute and blonde wasn’t in my deck of cards, so there were other things in my deck of cards that were good.”
“She wouldn’t let me feel sorry for myself. She didn’t make it ruin my self-esteem. I wasn’t allowed to feel sorry for myself because I had other things in my deck of cards,” Nicolaou said.
This approach was not only beneficial for Nicolaou’s self-esteem, but also for how she was able to look at others.
“That’s how I thought of kids growing up in my childhood. They all had a different deck of cards, and we all had a chance to play our hand,” she said.”
Commenters applauded Nicolaou’s mom’s advice.
“Actually loving but grounded advice,” one user said. “I really enjoy this perspective because it’s empowering while also being compassionate to the parts we may not like about ourselves. It also allows us to not judge others because all judgement begins from the self.”
“Your mom is a genius. To turn what could’ve been a big insecurity into the ability to look at all your other strengths is truly a gift your mother gave you as a little girl. And what was great about it is that she wasn’t tricking you — she was just letting you onto a little secret about life,” said another.
We’re definitely writing this one down for future use — but, could we somehow transport a note back in time, too? Let us know if you figure out how to do that, please and thank you.
