If your aching back and minivan haven’t reminded you of the inevitable passing of time today, let me give you this note: SpongeBob SquarePants is 25 years old. I know, you just sprouted three new gray hairs with that information. The incredibly weird and hilarious SpongeBob SquarePants premiered in 1999, and launched an entire generation of people who hear the word “pineapple” and immediately sing, “WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?” But whether you were an every-episode watcher or just caught it a few times through your adolescence, there are certain SpongeBob SquarePants quotes that will live forever in your brains. Like many classic Nickelodeon shows — think Rocko’s Modern Life, Ren & Stimpy, KABLAM! — SpongeBob was delightfully weird. It did that funny thing of zooming in for a close-up on a cartoon nose and suddenly everything is in sharp, disgusting focus. It gave us ridiculous characters like Patrick Star and Squidward the classical musician. And it gave us some absolutely hilarious moments to quote for the rest of our lives.
These are SpongeBob SquarePants quotes that don’t always make sense to other people. These aren’t quotes with set-ups and punchlines — these are the throwaway moments, the parts of a script that writers don’t intend to be remembered forever, but are. These are just funny little quips that made you laugh because of the delivery, and now you repeat to your own kids when they ask you something.
These are the SpongeBob SquarePants quotes that will last another 25 years.
“No, this is PATRICK.”
My personal favorite to say when my kids shout, “Mommy?!” a million times at me is this quote. It’s a classic, and a true SpongeBob fan will recognize it from the episode where Patrick is answering the phones at the Krusty Krab and getting more and more annoyed by people who call and say, “Is this the Krusty Krab?” Clearly not — this. is. PATRICK.
“Thank! *raspberry* You! *raspberry*”
And by *raspberry*, I of course mean blowing your tongue through your lips to create the “accent” SpongeBob keeps coming across when taking the wrong bus after visiting Glove World gets him stuck in Rock Bottom. This is a fun one to say anytime you need to thank a friend or family member, and it’s even better if they just reply, “You’re welcome!” like SpongeBob’s savior did, therefore making the entire *raspberry* accent unnecessary. Comedy gold.
“The kind of smelly smell that smells… smelly.”
Mr. Krabs is a literal icon, and this quote of his — from an episode where The Krusty Krab gets bombarded by a bunch of anchovies — is top notch. His eyes are narrowed, he has that perfect accent, the long dramatic pause before he says “smelly” at the end — just a perfect quote. I love to say this whenever someone mentions a smell or asks what something smells like, but it’s also the exact kind of thing you need in your repertoire when your baby has a foul diaper.
“The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me.”
You totally sang that one, right? And then did the “Krusty KraaAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAAAb pizaaaaaaaa” part. Who could ever forget where they were the moment they watched SpongeBob try to deliver all the Krusty Krab pizzas and make up songs as he went along. A perfect TV moment forever encapsulated in my millennial brain.
“Goodbye, everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.”
Nobody drops a quote like Plankton, and this is another one of those totally random ones I just like to say as I’m leaving an event and wait to see if anyone recognizes it.
“F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me! N is for anywhere and anytime at all, down here in the deep blue sea!”
When I tell you this song gets stuck in my head at least once a month, I mean it. The fact that it’s a song for SpongeBob and Plankton to sing together is just icing on the cake.
“Get a dog, little longies. Get a dog.”
Patrick Star’s ability to ruin a very common saying is one of my favorite SpongeBob plot lines, and this one where he messes up the phrase, “Get along, little doggies. Get along,” in the Texas episode is so ridiculously funny. I say it all the time.
“Wee woo wee woo wee woo wee woo!”
Who among us hasn’t made this exact siren sound a la Patrick?
“It’s evil… it’s diabolical… it’s LEMON-SCENTED.”
Another Plankton original, this is a nice little casual one to throw out anytime you’re making plans with friends or family or laughing at a silly idea. I especially love to shout “lemon-scented” like Plankton, but nothing beats when someone overhears you and actually recognizes the quote. Ah, Plankton. You’re kind of the best.
Everyone has a random SpongeBob quote buried deep in the back of their brain. And if you didn’t, hopefully one of these exploded some little time capsule of nostalgia for you.
